I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize