omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
