hotel room ftw
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
