i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
