so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
