before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
