Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
