u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
