Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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