I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
