I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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