After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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