Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I currently don't understand fingers.
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