i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
