Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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