so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
