I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
