dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
