The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
