i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
