I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
