Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you will always have a special place in my vag
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
