What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
