And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
