i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
