Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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