Cold hands, warm shart.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.