He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
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Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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