I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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