I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize