RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i think i have herpe
just one?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize