So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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