dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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