Ambien. No doubt about it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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