I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
