I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
