That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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