what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
