is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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