I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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