arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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