I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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