So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
