Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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