i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
