And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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