Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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