PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
