I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
