After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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