I am in a vortex of obligation.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
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Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
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I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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