Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
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