is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
