she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone