Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough