Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
