just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
